


The Pains of Love

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: How the Light Gets In [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But only for the second part, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Gen, Kes Dameron is awesome, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: "You're the one who always said Dameron men only fall in love once." (Set both before and after "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker")
Relationships: Kes Dameron & Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: How the Light Gets In [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575481
Comments: 22
Kudos: 446





	The Pains of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the Dryden quote.

Once, during the war, mission timing and location somehow lined up just right to let Poe go home to Yavin 4 for a few days. He brought Finn, telling anyone who asked that was just more convenient because they'd been on the mission together. Of course Rey could have come if she'd wanted to. It was just complete coincidence that she was busy with her Jedi stuff.

Besides, Finn deserved a couple of days of Kes Dameron's cooking and no one trying to kill him more than anyone. Poe was just the mechanism the universe was using to send Finn some good things for once. It wasn't anything more significant than that.

He wasn't about to tell anyone that the light in Finn's eyes when he saw the ranch felt like a lifetime of birthday presents in a single moment. That the chance to show him his mother's A-wing felt like a sacred experience. They wouldn't even know how to ask about the sweet ache of seeing Finn and his dad get along like they'd been friends all their lives. They were two of the best people Poe had ever known, and it was only right that they get the chance to know each other.

He let Finn take his old bed while he took the couch, which was just as convenient since he didn't end up doing much sleeping anyway. That very first night, he gave up eventually and headed outside to sit on one of the chairs on the front porch. If he couldn't sleep, he might as well look up at the stars.

After awhile, his dad came out to join him. "So," Kes said lightly, sitting down in a chair next to his son. "I like Finn."

Poe couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I could tell."

He could feel his dad watching him, and when he spoke again his tone had turned gentle enough to be dangerous. "You're in love with him."

Poe let out a breath. He'd been so, so careful to never put it into words, even inside his own head. "I wanted you to meet him."

The silence that followed was a thousand times deeper than it had been before. "Ah," Kes said finally, the ghost of sadness in his voice enough to make Poe's chest twist. "It's like that, then."

Poe swallowed, eyes still fixed on the stars. "Not really." He hated how unsteady his voice was.

"Poe." The sadness, the same one that always had his mom's name at the heart of it, transformed into a warm, purely parental exasperation. "Watching the two of you is like seeing holos of me and your mother."

Poe squeezed his eyes shut. "No, it's not." His dad was a romantic. He didn't know. "He's in love with a Jedi."

Finn had never come out and actually _said_ it, but even a blind man could see the way it shone out of Finn like a star. It killed him every time he saw it, but it would take far more of a sleemo than Poe could ever be to argue against a love like that. The minute Rey pulled her head out of her Jedi training and realized what was waiting for her, they'd have a bond so complete everyone else would be out in the cold.

And if it made Finn happy, he'd support it every step of the kriffing way.

His dad was still watching him. "That doesn't change things for you, though," he said quietly.

Poe opened his eyes, making himself take a deep breath. "Not particularly." He turned to look at his dad, trying for a lightness he didn't feel. "You're the one who always said Dameron men only fall in love once."

The sheer sympathy on his dad's face was enough to make Poe feel all the edges of his impending broken heart. "That doesn't have to be true for you, though."

"Yeah, it does." Poe swallowed, knowing this might be the only chance he'd ever have to admit the truth. "I'd ground myself for life if it meant the chance to spend one more day with him."

His dad made a pained sound. "Oh _mijo_ ," he breathed, leaning across the space between them to pull Poe into a hug.

Poe, knowing no one else could see, held on and let himself cry.

000

After the battle against the Sith Fleet, they tried to issue everyone a few days of staggered leave so they could spend time with their families. Poe and Finn considered themselves the lowest priority, especially with all the notifications they had to make, but even they managed a little time to make it out to Yavin 4.

Kes met them both at the door with a rib-cracking hug. "Thank all the gods," he breathed. "I know you sent me that message, but it's not the same as seeing you both in person." He pulled back enough to look at both their faces, brow lowering. "Even though you both look like you could sleep for a week."

Poe smiled. "We don't have that long, but a few days of your cooking will do us a world of good."

Kes smiled back, clapping Finn on the shoulder. "I can even make torrejas if someone trustworthy can help me with the manjar."

Poe sighed dramatically, feeling lighter than he had in days. "You let yourself get distracted _one_ time..."

Finn grinned, pressing a quick kiss against Poe's cheek that absolutely should _not_ have been enough to make him melt the way it did. "You have plenty of other skills, General, most of which I should definitely not be talking about in front of your father."

Poe grinned at him. "You're just trying to flatter me into getting our bags."

Finn wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Is it working?"

Poe leaned in for a more thorough kiss. "It always does."

He headed outside for the bags, not at all surprised when his dad followed him out. "So..."

Poe put on his best innocent look as he slung the duffels over his shoulder. "What? I thought I mentioned the general thing." When his dad's brow lowered, he laughed. "Okay, fine. It turns out I was completely wrong about him being in love with the Jedi."

"And _I_ was completely _right_ about the two of you sounding like me and your mother." He beamed, clearly deeply satisfied with the universe as a whole. "You're glowing, mijo. It's like staring into the sun."

Poe could feel the light of it inside his chest. "I've heard happiness does that to people."

"I may have mentioned that, once or twice." His dad pointed a theatrically warning finger at him. "I hope you know you'd better not get married without me."

"Hey, we're not there yet." But, stars willing, they would be. "There's still a lot of work that needs to be done."

His expression turned serious. "I know." He moved forward, taking Poe's face in his hands. "But you'll do it together. As it should be."

Poe's throat tightened, thinking about his mom. Even the greatest love in the world wasn't always enough to keep you from pain. "If something happens to me, he can still come back here, right?"

His dad nodded, his own eyes misty. "From this moment on, I have two sons." He pulled Poe into a tight hug. "But you'd better not do that to him. Or me."

Poe hugged him back, just as tight. "I'm not planning on it."

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my [original fiction,](https://jennifferwardell.wixsite.com/mybooks) my [blog,](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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